Tuesday, September 11, 2007

wrath of a nation

So, judging from the dates of my fellow authors they have been waiting for quite some time for my contribution to our little experiment. For that, I apologize.

This entry will vary in some ways to my others in that I lack the concentration needed - and health at the moment to be around for long this evening.

Wrath.

I have not had anything to say on this topic which is why nothing has been written. Even now, I fear my interpretation will be on a road that you will not say is one of wrath - but it as close as I know.

Today I had a man sit before me and pour out his heart. He showed me a card that gave him tax free status as a disabled veteran in the state of Oklahoma. It all began by us discussing the benefit - than led to how he obtained it in the first place. This day several years ago triggered the PTSD that had been lurking since his time in Vietnam. He told me story after story. I listened. As we finished I stopped him from just leaving and thanked him for his service and sacrifice. His eyes searched mine, as though he were dreaming - - - perhaps he heard me wrong - but no. He knew what he heard was true and as our eyes teared up together he shook my hand and walked away.

And I remembered the man last month who told me he had only been told "thank you" three times since Vietnam.

And the man who cried on my shoulder at the VFW fearing his daughter would return to the same fate as he: the wrath of a nation.

I can't help but think of the deliberate choices that were made toward our American Service men and women as they have returned from duty. There have always been those who support - - there have always been those who have not. It is easy to think of the horrible stories associated with the return of soldiers from Vietnam - -but it still occurs. I have had many a friend return from Iraq the last few years and have the term "baby-killer" thrown at them.

What causes this sort of wrath? I don't have an answer. To me, these men and women deserve all the respect and honor that one can receive. How their sacrifice can be made such an ugly thing I will never understand.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Invidia

en·vy
1. a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc.

Tafas: [talking of Britain] Is that a desert country?
T.E. Lawrence: No: a fat country. Fat people.
Tafas: You are not fat?
T.E. Lawrence: No. I'm different.

Aeryn Sun : I have always been a Peacekeeper. It's all I know, its what I am.
John Crichton : You can be more.

Some are born to move the world
To live their fantasies
But most of us just dream about
The things we'd like to be
Sadder still to watch it die
Than never to have known it
For you, the blind who once could see
The bell tolls for thee...



Every problem in this world can be traced to one of two things:
  1. Usurpation of the place of God by man.
  2. Selfishness.
We envy because we think we have been denied something we deserve without putting in the work necessary to get it. In other words, lazy. To put it another way, selfish. Selfishness is the foundation of our base natures. We want the world to revolve around us, to come easy to us, to bow to our will; and we don't want to pay the price. The price exacted by poor choice, or by what must be done to achieve our goals.

As a culture we have tried again and again to kill God, or at least marginalize Him. We have created a bubble of altered reality through legislative and legal fiat, acting as the small child shaking its fist at the universe, claiming it isn't there. When, in our shortsightedness we think we have banished Him, we laugh, cheer, pat ourselves on the back and congratulate ourselves. We proceed on our merry little way, blithely disregarding the swirling storm around us, unaware of the debt which will one terrible day be called into balance.

So much is offered to us. So much that seems so little, but on closer examination is so great a treasure that we cannot fathom it. Yet, we choose to be niggardly with our dreams and focus on that which is fleeting, and even as we grasp it in our hands it disappears and we are left with nothing. We turn our eyes on ourselves, and wonder why we are so empty. We concentrate on our own desires, even to the point of cloaking them in piety, in good works, in appearances of sainthood, but in the end we are no different than the abject narcissist, save that we lack the integrity to be honest with ourselves.

All of this leaves us empty, wanting and bitter; thus the seed of envy is sown and harsh is its fruit. Rather than lifting our eyes and aspirations to higher things, we turn to ourselves and finding that lacking, we turn on others. "Things" become our aspirations, position our highest goal, and the fawning of others becomes our creed. The drive to fulfillment and happiness is strong indeed, but our thirst for these is only slaked by contentment, and contentment is a choice that only we can make, independent of circumstance.